Money. Work stress. In laws. Health issues. Wet towels. Chores. Intimacy (or lack of). Terrible twos, and threes and fourteens or anyteens. Mid life crisis. Estranged siblings full of resentment because someone isn't showing up to care for mom. Uncomfortable silence in the wake of a fight. And oh no, Thanksgiving...with them.
There countless reasons why our homes are not peaceful. And in the heat of it all, we fight, we use silence as a weapon, we flee, we tear our kids apart. But we're family, right? Wehave the preordained right to be stuck with each other. So the endless cycle begins. Home becomes hostile. We fake it, we wait for the next falling out, we collect resentment like a bird collects twigs for a nest. Quietly, we rest our heads on the twigs at night. We perch on them at the dinner table. And wow, when one of those twigs snap! It's ugly.
Make Peace at Home came to me as a vision. Really, it was my personal plea to the universe. My family has been shaken with life in the past five years. Two new babies, health issues, financial strain, business failure, painful loss. Frankly, some really traumatizing stuff. And I, the conflict resolution expert, was screaming and fighting like everyone else. We fell apart. So more accurately stated, my plea sounded more like a demand - "I want peace at home". And the demand was not granted .
But then, quite miraculously, Mahatma Gandhi whispered in my ear - not literally, but from the pages of a quote website :-)
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
and it hit me, the only way I could have want I desperately wanted was to Make it happen. The same, I'll bet, is true for you, my friend.
So here we are.
Make Peace at Home is an offering to help families understand why they fight, how to fight less or at least better and if we're lucky to turn our conflicts into opportunities to LOVE HARDER. We'll be exploring relevant topics with experts. We'll ask questions. We'll look hard at ourselves and at those we love. We'll learn. We'll find our vision and find our voices. And hopefully, if my instinct is right, we'll be better for it.
Join us each week on Tuesday at 5pm est as we explore skills, ideas and tactics needed to resolve the conflicts inherent in relationships and family life. Special guests will include experts and authors who will broaden our understanding of the issues that underly the discord in our homes, who will make us laugh, cry and take control of the conflicts that impact our lives.
Come explore with me and let's...
Wokie Nwabueze is Peacemaker. A certified mediator and conflict coach, her career in and love of the conflict resolution field started in 1993 when she worked for a groundbreaking NYC non profit as a mediator and conflict management trainer developing violence prevention program in NYC public schools. Her work continued as a consultant and trainer working with non profits, parent groups and troubled youth.
In 1998, Wokie obtained her law degree and continued her work in the field mediating various legal disputes, including custody and civil matters. In addition she has spent over ten years addressing workplace and institutional conflict.
Wokie's first passion is her family. As the mother of two very young children, she has experienced first hand the stress of transitioning from couple to parents - and the potential conflict that we all face as we nurture and grow intimate relationships.
Through her work and life experience she has learned that at the core of every conflict is an unmet need. She also grew to understand that the ability to address conflict well takes skill that most of us are not taught and many of us do not have. Yet the way we handle conflict shapes the way we and our children see the world.
"Resolving conflict is, at its core, the successful negotiation of needs. As simple as it sounds, it's not easy to do. But it is the most important work we can do for our families and relationships. That is why Make Peace at Home is so important to me. The better we get at this work, the better off we will all be." Wokie Nwabueze