Did you read my poignant piece about high taxes yesterday? (   http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1050/  )

Oooops,  I forgot to call city hall and bawl them out, which was Part B of my plan, (Part A being the blog and all it's common sense math) because Clinique has a new bronzer out and I had to be at Macy's by 10:15am today.

Anyways, as if my shocking expose of MudSlideGate was not enough, Jerry Fought City Hall and He Won this morning.  He got them to turn over a parking ticket since the space was not well-marked...and since he was the only person in there who was not a total loser on DUI, drug possession or possession of absolutely NO BRAINS charges.

Thus, I am feeling more inspired than ever to invoke my Ally McBeal sensibilites and take on a new issue.

It's time to confront the elephant in the room....

I, Jill, am naming myself as Plaintiff Vs One Defendant Conan O'Brien, Millionaire with Coin to Spare, in the landmark frivolous lawsuit entitled You Might Be My BabyDaddy, Even If We've Never Met. The Plaintiff is suing the Defendant for an unspecified amount of LOTS of money and/or a job as a writer and bit player on his new show.  The Plaintiff points our eery similarities between her baby son Patrick and Mr. O'Brien including, but not limited to, red fluffy hair, ghastly white Irish skin, blue eyes, the ability to entertain & a mild toothbrush fetish.  At the crux of this case is Mr. O'Brien's whereabouts 3/17/08, commonly known as St. Patrick's Day.   I, Jill, contend that since Mr. O'Brien and I are both Irish and neither one of us probably remember the events of 3/17/08, that there is probable cause that he could be my BabyDaddy, Even Though We've Never Met.

Jill

I'm going to use my settlement money to rent some shovels and clean up the Mudslide myself so the road in my town can re-open.

In the meantime, Coco, call me.  Let's talk about the details of me on your new show.  I'm thinking a NotSoSoccerMom and Family musical number, complete with triangles, maracas and a glockenspiel.